There have been so many things happening in such a small space of time. Watching an interaction between evolving minds has been extremely insightful. But, also worked my nerves to the core. There are things that I've seen before as a student, but never as an educator happening here. What is the purpose of allowing so much freedom in a "structured" classroom? Well, being an evolving human being requires learning to make your own decisions, instead of being told what to do. If I can only be told, I can never decide. We should be using all the resources possible to draw a student in, to help a student want to learn. I can't, as an educator, make my students do anything. This is the first classroom that I've seen that belief come to life. I don't have, nor do I desire to, make a student do anything. I don't want to make a student love anything. I don't want to make a student hate anything. I want to assist. I want to allow students to find, obtain and expand their own interests and use them in a classroom and in life. Why has it taken me this long to see someone else really do that? Why is it that more educators don't provide visual proof of their determination to assist students, while giving them more information? But then, I never really feel like education is taught, but, tapped into. The things that we "learn" are things that we had deep in ourselves all along. Yet, today is the first day I've seen that produced in a classroom. Why has it taken so long? What has held teachers back from this? Is it the power hungry society that we will in? Is it that society is more oriented towards the results than the actual process? There's just so many questions, and so little time.
This week marked the halfway point in my semester. Handling both of my capstone courses and a new job at CMU's Writing centerhas been stressful but beyond rewarding. I had a very positive week in both aspects. I had two of my permanent appointments in the Writing Center inform me they have been doing better with their writing courses, and that they believe I have helped them enough to make a significant difference in their writing. I cannot ask for a better compliment. Helping others is why I am in school and why I am here today. I had another highlight to this week as well. Your very own Mr. Schoenborn was kind enough to come to CMU last night and speak to a group of future English Teachers. The majority of the room had never met Andy before but were happy to hear him speak but were happy he came. This week also marked the start of registration for my last set of classes at CMU. Scheduling never works. I found out that I was possibly going to be stuck at CMU for an extra semester, all because of one class. No options, from a list of ten, were available for me to take. I frantically had to get in contact with a very helpful professor of mine, Dr. Brockman. We were able to iron out the scheduling issue in a matter of hours without ever meeting face to face. I am going to graduate on time. This, week, Melissa and I got the chance to teach our first lesson in class. Our focus was to introduce the PoTW and Free Response essays as their own genres, and explore what that might mean when it comes to writing those essays. Overall, and this was to be expected, some things went well, and some not so well.
I suppose I should start with the former--I definitely think, for the most part, the discussion generated from our lesson was beneficial. The class, myself included, seemed to really enjoy looking at the German poem, because it was something different from the norm. Second hour especially seemed to dig the poem, which was cool. Now for the most important part: there was definitely room for improvement, and I noticed it by the end of first hour. At the end of discussion, I posed this final question that was supposed to dig at this idea of each essay, the PoTW and the FRE, was asking different things, and keeping this distinction in mind was important/useful. By the end of first hour, though, it was clear to me that the way I worded the question did more harm than good. I felt as though the reason for the slightly lackluster discussion at the end was certainly due to my assignment guidelines. In one of my college classes this semester, we read this article by Lindemann that discussed the importance of assignment guidelines in determining students' success.To me, I felt that my assignment guidelines were a bit lacking in what I was asking the class to consider, and I know that in the future, I want to be aware of this whenever I sit down to create a lesson. Overall, this was a great learning experience in terms of seeing what works well/what doesn't work so well in the classroom https://blackboard.cmich.edu/bbcswebdav/pid-3780953-dt-content-rid-31766206_1/courses/ENG319-16300-22290453/ENG319-16300-22290453_ImportedContent_20150916032230/ENG319-15500-22268472_ImportedContent_20150121112735/Lindemann.pdf It is possible to have a lot of stress in my life and manage to be productive while not caving. Without going into detail this week has been one of the most taxing weeks of my life. Between family, work, dentist appointments, presentations, parent/teacher conference, and conference organization to say I've been busy is an understatement. Taking all of it into consideration, though, I do not feel stressed out. No crippling anxiety; no nervous sweats; and no panicky freakouts. It is true that a few things became postponed, and I am okay with those decisions. The key to handling the demands life has thrown my direction is mindfulness. To be mindful is to enjoy each moment as they come. For example, I am solely focused on this reflection - and I am allowing myself to enjoy the reflection nature of the process. There is much peace to be had here. When I speak to those around me they are my focus and I do not allow other demands to force their way into my mind. The other demands will have my attention as well, but in due time. So for now, and hopefully into the future, I plan on enjoying the moment. Whether that means playing with my children, making dinner, learning with students, reflecting with mid-tier students, preparing presentations, or organizing state-wide conferences. Each moment has something special to offer and I intend to honor the moment and be grateful for them. As each SF Theme team begins to wrap up their study I notice their ideas emerging in surprising ways. I am impressed with the problematizing they are engaging in, for example, groups are working autonomously to come with a plan of attack for organizing their thinking. Many are choosing to collaborate by sharing notes on a Google doc; some groups have reached the point where they are organizing the structures of their essays and presentations; and they are entering into important group conversations to ensure everyone is on the same page. I have stressed that I am not interested in summary but, rather, their discoveries. How do the rules for blurred boundaries between humans and robots apply across authors interpretation? What can be considered an alien and why is point of view important? What do they notice about SF over time and what does it say about culture during the time a work was published? Are there common themes that run through stories involving mad scientists and mutant children? So what? Asking students to consider the multiplicity of layers involved the genre helps them to come their own conclusions in thoughtful and purposeful ways. I am encouraged by what I have witnessed and impressed with the stance students are taking within their great SF theme. This week I have been focusing on trying to bring what I learn in this classroom into my practice at the CMU Writing Center. Unsurprisingly, the tactics for approaching poetry taught here are applicable in other areas as well. One of the biggest concepts I appreciated having put into words for me was that students need to trust themselves and take agency for their own writing choices. For me, it has also been a challenge to trust my initial reactions to the pieces we read in class. Often times writers entering a college setting are unprepared to deal with the lack of guidelines provided by professors. As of this week, I have learned to sit back a bit and wait for the writers I meet to form their own ideas and opinions. At first, I found that I receive blank and panicked looks, and occasionally, long moments of silence. Yet, however slowly they may begin, I find that nearly all of the writer's I encounter will begin to share their ideas with me. They often seem surprised when I appreciate or find their ideas interesting, which makes me wonder what type of high school experiences they had. To me, writer's initial lack of confidence is one of the largest hurdles they must overcome while in college. As a potential future teacher, I have decided to pay more attention to and utilize teaching methods which allow for as much student autonomy as possible. I want to prevent writers from reaching college level restricted by someone else's opinion of how to approach a topic. This isn't to say that teachers should leave students entirely on their own; students need as many writing strategies as possible to be successful. |
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January 2017
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